Hey you up there! i just dont get it what u're tryna do

Okay, so first of all, u had me soo confused with my own feelings when i was 9 years old. like wow, my brain was not even fully developed yet. okay fine. i went tru all the pain until i was 18. 9 fucking years. was that enuf for u? what lesson cud u ever want me to learn out of that? that never choose a long distance relationship coz it sucks n it will never work?never let ur husband out of sight? never be too egoistic? which one is it? wow, i totally learnt alot! thank u! n then what, u had all those nice people betraying me to get into my circle of comfortness? wow! maybe i get ur point. u didnt want me to trust people that easily. THANK U SO DAMN MUCH. i certainly find it hard to trust anyone. especially naw. OWH OWH WAIT, u did send me another hurtful msg that only u noe what cud teach me. destroying my relationship with everysingle people that i love? by the cause of other FUCKING OUTSIDERS? for what again? owh owh..maybe its time to just say sorry to OLDER people becoz in the olden days, people wud do that eventho they were right. but we are talking bout STUPID IMMATURE OLDER PEOPLE. how fascinating! u want me to BOW to stupid people like that n have no dignity for myself!? What is it that u really want me to see n look at? that i was wrong ALL ALONG. U MADE me like this dont blame me coz i cant take things the way they are. i DID NOTHING WRONG. u have no right to punish me like this. u said u will be there for me. but u are here to gimme alllllllllll this mess that arent even mine. thank u soo much. Why send me a guy which i fell for n take him away from me? twice? why send me all these nice guys that i seem to like but not sure enuf if its a true love feeling? what pengajaran lagi la u nak i terima? In my entire life, ive done nothing wrong to people whom i love or loved. n u FUCKING NOE that. so why? why why why? crave it on a stone, on a beach or something coz seriously i dont get it. why is it that GUYS who cheat on their wives can still live happy n live with that lie all along?why is it that WOMEN who send their FUCKING EMBRYOS straight to hell can still find happiness in life. ARE U CRAZY OR SOMETHING? tell me la. i might not be the most religious person on earth, but i do have that faith in u. i still believe that ull hate me if i betray you. yes! i have been betraying u, becoz u left me here..alone..in all this mess that arent even mine! is that fair? is that fair? i am not like the others. u should have known. u do noe. ur just ignoring me. i love u. but do u? i hate all these people who keep on hurting me for things that ive done.those things that ive done..i dont deserve to be punished. salah silap i, bukan seperti i bunuh orang, its not like i buat benda yang teruk giller. but ape yang i dapat? i x dihargai. when i love something, ill take care of it. i will love it with all myheart..u noe that. i x patut dihukum sebagaimana i dihukum skarang. i mmg benci betul all those hurtful things. my heart ni..disalut je...x pernah sembuh pun.. i sentiasa maafkan orng.i maafkan semua yang bwat salah kat i. tapi jangan harap la i akan lupa. and jangan ingat, senang2 kau masuk hidup aku, kau boleh buat sesuka hati. owh no, u x kenal i lagi.. once i DAH BENCI kat u, dont even think of recuperating any kind of relationship we have. lovers ke, kawan ke. FUCK OFF. ingat aku ni bergantung sangat ke kat korang..?nampak je mcm aku bergantung kat korang, but the truth is tanpa korang pun hidup aku boleh berjalan seperti biasa la. mati nanti pun sorang2 la..ive been going tru life ALONE my whole entire life. huh....challenge la i lagi...i mmg suke. i mmg x kesah lagi la pasal anyone anymore. kau nak bwat ape, kau bwat. jangan ingat la kau boleh change aku sesuka hati. kau sape? hati i keras macam batu. i bukan la orang yang u nak cari gadoh. klau i nampak baik , sbnrnye kat dalam aku x peduli pun. okay? kalau dah bwat taik kat aku, mmg kau dapat balik la. hidup ni x senang. n jgn harap la tru me, u akan senang gak. mmg mimpi la.

Ikhlas from me. hope u like it.