Ive committed a sin.

I bought quite a lot today. shooooooooooes. which im not supposed to. and a bunch of bracelets and stuff. i feel so angry and annoyed with almost everyone recently. They're just getting on my nerves too much. MELUAT tau tak. MELUAT. Seriously. Ugghhh...!!!!!!! fiuh..okay. a little bit better. i almost bought a bag tonight T-T. U noe how dangerous it is for me to be in a bad mood? i cud spend 1k on my hair, just like that, without realizing. I did spend 1k on my sunglasses. OMG. I just feel like eveyone is not giving me the support i need. or maybe im expecting too much? noo. i dont think so. wat is the use of having parents and a bf if they dont support n understand me? there are times where i feel soo stupid that i just wanna break off with every single commitment i have and just work and enjoy life. n i dont have to listen to any crap anyone has to say to me. tension betul tau tak. thank god im not fasting today. because ive been swearing alot, mesti dah batal puasa. The thing is..long distance relationship is starting to get me. i just cant deal with it anymore. alone. i feel like im going tru it alone, n i HATE that. im such a stupid girl. someone shud slap me right naw. tension la sial. bodoh betullah. i give up la. serious shit. im choosing career as my top priority naw. despite the negative feedback my family is giving me.

wanna hear the truth? wat i truly feel?

I think i layan everyone else baik giller. sangat2 baik. and i dapat balasan mcm sebutir pasir tau tak. i usaha giller babi to make everything fine n ok. but, when i do it alone. i feel USED. so im not gonna let everyone else use me. when i dah stabil giller babi with my work, i can leave all of u behind coz im gonna be so inlove with my work none of u wud matter anymore. i simply dont care anymore. success is wat i want most out of life.

Its a dilemma, but a good one.

So remember when i said i wanted to do R.E in the future after i graduate.? it somehow backfired on me (not quite yet) because my family is giving me a hard time of not appreciating n supporting me on this matter. but thats okay. i will still pursue ur prawn business dad. n scientific sales for uncle hashim. and R.E for myself. and skin care product whatever for my step dad. what? u think thats a lot of job to do at one time?well u havent heard of my another job. which i am so happy i got it. :D he heheh he...well, actually i was just appointed today.=) im not gonna tell u guys yet. ur gonna have to read it in the next blog..hehehehe...today is just one of those days where i feel really lucky. if there is one thing that ive learnt today, its that putting all effort n too much effort in anything u do doesnt really help u sometimes. all u gotta do is lay back n relax. but be determined for the actions u take are those that count. i have come up with a new quote/ motto today.

Putting full effort in anything doesnt give u everything

Hehe, how do u like it? well, convocation is on tuesday. i am so psyched!! i cant wait to nod to my canselor n retrieve my scroll n honor n everything! bib's class at 4 will be cancelled. see, even her lecturer noes that i am too important for her,vice versa. ahhh...i truely feel lucky recently. i have alot of people around me who loves me n supports me (except for the R.E matter).

i am practically waiting for sara to come and pick me up. we are going to marriott putrajaya for dinner with my sis n her husband. i dunno if my mum is coming too. we'll c..anyway, i just came back from tioman n kuantan..dude, tioman was awesome. we basically went snorkeling almost every single day. the corals were soooooo beautiful, i seriously want a waterproof camera right naw. and i even had a swim with all sorts of fishes.fed them with bread sommore. ikan kerapu got. nemo got..we even saw a baby shark while we went to one of the islands for a quick swim at the waterfall.. the waterfall was seriously breath taking n awesome n magnificant all at the same time. the water was sooo cold n chilly n nice. it was a hot day too. seems like the weather there was totally on our side. in the days we werent snorkeling, it had rained cats n dogs, but on alternative days, it was sunny n everyone (including the boys at the cafe) were in a good mood and smiling all day long. owh n we also met TOMMY, who seem to be an environmentalist. he was doing projects for the turtles, life saving n stuff, n there was this one turtle who seem to be blind. her name was Jo. n she's a medium size green turtle. i dont noe if i or my mum took a picture of her.

welp, i gotta go naw. i hope marriott serves goose liver pate at their resturants. cause im in a mood for some fear-factor food. (btw, if goose liver pate was ever in the fear factor competition, i wud totally win, it taste awesome!)