Confessions

1) I am about to commit a sin. or rather im planning to

2) I think ive always let my emotional state control everything

3) I dont believe in true love. I only believe in short term happiness.

4) I am not sure of how i truely feel right naw. i dont noe whats real n whats unreal anymore.

5) I am partly broken. n it seems, all these years, ive only manage to seal the wound n not heal it.

6) I swear that i will never let anyone break my heart ever again.

7) The consequence from that is i cant seem to let myself love anyone 100% anymore.

8) I have trouble seeing other people success.

9) Only to make me put more effort to work harder.

10) I am very bad at Bahasa Melayu.

11) I want my children to be superb in English.

12) I actually hate Malays. eventho i am 75% Malay. That doesnt mean i like Chinese.

13) I cant stand Malay thinkings n whatever topics they have to converse with others.

14) I was brought up by my family in the open-minded way. So, no one can ever blame me for this.

15) If i had to choose, i would marry an Indian rather than a chinese.

16) anti-poligami

17) Harap kau puas hati.

18) I am not afraid to admit my flaws.

19) I hate people who like to bring up racism issues. as so religious issues.

20) I used to unsure of what i wanted in life. This year, im totally sure. and it does not involve men.

21) I am the cause for some other people's pain n misery.

22) I only say sorry when ive done something wrong. If ive said it to u, just because i was being forced to or whatever, then im sorry to say, uve been punked.

23) I believe that i can never be too nice to people. This world is just a game. The sooner u give in, the sooner ull get out.

24) I have no idea why its hard for me to be friends with girls. Girls are freakin backstabbers.

25) Its also hard to be friends with guys. By the end of the month, he'll say "i love u". so there goes the friendship right into the drain.

26) I hate n love my ex Bf at the same time. naw thats twisted.

27) I wanna move on but i dont know how?

28) Everytime i think of what he has done, i feel hatred n it keeps on boiling up inside.

29) Scorpios are revengeful. but i have passed that stage. i think.

30) It took me 2 hours to write down my 30th confession. i was thinking hard, n yes..i do love him =)

Fit over Finnegans.

i was soo upset. n i actually threw a fit over at finnegans a couple of days ago because i couldnt stand how DUMB guys can sometimes be. seriously. i was shouting n there were tears in my eyes. running down my hot bursting-into-flames cheeks. Syah was saying about how i should understand Mr. u noe who. n how i should give n take n dont expect too much. dont be too pushy. hello? i was once the victim. shouldnt i atleast have some triumph in some situations?in all situations actually. i did nothing wrong. all i want is a little reassurance that i am truely loved by Mr u noe who. i am a GIRL. we are very emotional human beings. n guys are very stupid n lack of interpretability skills especially when it comes to understanding us, WOMEN. i just felt so angry because i am not in the position to understand people n whatsoever. people shud totally understand me instead. Everyone around me should noe damn well that they cant just live an easy life tru me. na-ah. no freaking way. not everything should be done ur way. i could feel that the people sitting behind me was already shifting, n fidgeting n staring at the back of my head, as if wanting to noe if all that shouting came from me. =D Syah calmed me down n whiped away all my tears that were rolling down hard.I just wished that Mr. U noe who wud understand me better. maybe he's not even interested. that would be a bummer.i mean if u dont noe how to pujuk someone, u can always ask. well i dont mind. because afterall i will be the one smiling at the end. but i guess sometimes its EGO. like omg, EGO can kill me. EGO in a man can totally 200% kill me.twice. Like with Z before, omg...he has the tallest ego a man could ever afford to have. n look what happened to us? i hate it.. i hate this game. i just want something natural n free..n no hustle n stuff.
well, anyway, we made up..because i decided to let go of this one..but next time....ha, jangan harap.. =) i love u too.